Blindsided Page 5
He wanted to know why his question upset her so much, which was a problem in itself. Tanner didn’t really care why people did what they did. He only cared about whether or not they liked him, at least on the surface. So why did he care about Emma?
That answer was buried in an emotional pit he hid from the world, and he wasn’t sure if there was a backhoe big enough to excavate what lay under all the outer bullshit.
* * * *
Emma was mad—at herself. She’d revealed her biggest weakness to Tanner of all people. And for what reason? Heaven only knew. She sure as heck didn’t. He wasn’t the One, and she had no business telling him her secrets because he didn’t really care.
“Are you okay?” Tanner stared at her, his mouth set in a grim line, while a lone muscle jerked in his jaw.
Emma shook her head. His concern wrenched another bout of sobs from her. How stupid and ridiculous and weak? She was crying over karaoke for heaven’s sake. Except she knew it was more than that. She was crying because she wasn’t strong enough to follow her dreams like Avery or willing to give up the safe and known for the dangerous and unknown. Emma liked everything lined up in neat little lines, liked her life mapped out, all the way down to her someday wedding dress she’d clipped out of a bride’s magazine and stored in what she called her Notebook of Dreams. Tanner was in there, too, as her dream man—the guy she measured every other guy against. Of course, she didn’t really know him, only his public persona as a guy who did lots of charity work and was known for his easygoing, generous lifestyle with a lot of partying thrown in.
“Oh, man, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He wrapped his strong arms around her. She stiffened briefly, but couldn’t resist him no matter how hard she tried. Emma relaxed into him, letting his warmth seep into her cold places, comforting her in ways she’d only imagined. She’d certainly never been comforted by her parents as a child. Izzy tried, but Izzy wasn’t exactly into warm-fuzzies. Yet, this man she barely knew made her feel better with just a hug because he was good at this. Really good. She reminded herself she meant nothing to him. He was not the One, she repeated over and over in her head. Only her heart had donned noise-cancelling headphones and was picking out wedding music.
Sniffling, Emma pulled back. “No one in my family knows I sing karaoke, and they can’t know.”
“Why?” Confusion spread across his handsome face.
“We have a pact—my sisters and I.”
“A pact? Not to sing karaoke? Seriously?” His brow creased in confusion and made him look so adorable, his expression helped staunch the flow of tears.
“No. We have a pact to never follow in our parents’ footsteps and become entertainers. We’ve lived that story of being on top, crashing to the bottom, and spending the rest of their lives trying to get back to the top again. The drugs, the drinking, the late nights, the complete and total disregard for anything but the music, especially your children.” And why was she telling him all this?
“Oh,” he seemed at a loss for words. “But you sing at the parties you crash?”
“That’s different.”
“Because Izzy approves of it?” he guessed, and Emma nodded slowly. “So you come here once a week to sing?”
She nodded again, surprised at how perceptive he was.
He rubbed his chin as if deep in thought then refocused those deep green eyes on her. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah,” he said softly, his voice deep and husky, a voice that instantly made her panties wet and brought forth thoughts of steamy nights and naked bodies.
Oh my. Her hands flew to her mouth as she inwardly cringed at her wayward thoughts.
He patted her back, wrongly assuming it had to do with her broken dreams. He had no idea he was a large part of them. The DJ called him to sing, and she sat back, relieved to have a reprieve and happy to have an excuse to watch him without coming across as a stalker or a desperate woman with an even more desperate crush.
He had to be the hottest man in the room. Judging by the other women hungrily watching him, she wasn’t the only one who thought so. Tanner picked up the mic, nodded to the DJ, and grinned straight at Emma, making her feel as if she were the only woman in the large bar. She expected harsh music or even rap, only he pulled another surprise out of his bag of tricks.
Tanner’s gaze held hers captive as he started to croon a classic country ballad made famous by George Strait. It happened to be one of Emma’s personal favorites, and Tanner sang “The Chair” as well as George Strait had himself.
Emma couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t form a coherent thought as Tanner expertly wound a cocoon around the two of them with a song he sang as if he sung it just for her. His voice rolled over her like a warm ocean breeze, gentle and mesmerizing.
The man could sing, and Emma went from a crush to being hopelessly, undeniably in love with the man before he got to the chorus.
“Don’t look so shocked,” Tanner said after he sauntered back to his seat and sat down next to her. With a satisfied smirk on his face, he sipped his beer, the same one he’d been nursing all night.
“Country? You?” Emma wasn’t shocked, not at all. She was smitten, completely under his spell, and already dusting off that wedding dress in her mind. And how ridiculously stupid was that?
He glanced around as if checking to see if anyone noticed. “Yeah, I like country. We all have our secrets.” His lopsided smile would’ve won her heart if he hadn’t already owned it.
“I’m not the only witness,” she said, surprised she could actually tease him when most men left her tongue-tied.
He leaned forward, as if he only wanted her to hear him. “One of the advantages of playing for the NFL’s worst team in a remote corner of the country is I can come to a place like this and rarely be recognized, so let’s keep my identity a little secret between us.”
“I promise,” she whispered as she leaned into him, intoxicated by the woodsy scent so uniquely his. Tanner was full of contradictions; his scent was one of them. She’d have expected him to smell like an expensive, trendy men’s cologne. Instead he smelled like an old-growth forest after a light spring rain.
He gazed down at her, his eyes sparkling with mischief, as if he were contemplating some kind of new mayhem. “Let’s do a duet. You and me, we’ll rock this place.”
“Okay,” Emma squeaked, scared and thrilled at the same time.
“You pick. You’ve heard me sing. You know what I’m capable of.”
“Full of yourself, aren’t you?”
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “Oh, yeah, definitely, and I go after what I want.”
“And you want to sing with me?”
“Ah, babe, that’s just foreplay.” His teasing grin tempered his suggestive words.
Emma licked her lips and stared into those incredible eyes. Maybe they should sing “You Had Me at Hello.” Except he’d had her longer than that, much longer. One of his big hands gripped her thigh right at her knee in a decidedly possessive touch, as he grinned at her, smiling with his mouth and his eyes.
“Why did you come here tonight?” she heard herself asking.
“To see you.” The intensity in his gaze turned her spine to gel and her panties even wetter. “We do have unfinished business.”
“You want to finish it?”
“Don’t you?”
Emma contemplated how to answer that question. She had the vow to consider, and she was stone-cold sober, though being in Tanner’s presence made her tipsier than five glasses of wine. “You said it was a mistake.”
“Maybe at the time, but the biggest mistake I made was to bring my phone along. This time I’ll eliminate all interruptions and give you my full attention.”
Emma shook her head. “I can’t.”
Tanner blinked several times as if he couldn’t quite wrap his head around her answer. “Why not?”
“I came here to sing. That’s all. That other night, that was just alc
ohol talking.”
“Fine, then, let’s sing,” He groused, almost as if she’d insulted him or hurt his feelings. He recovered quickly, his easygoing smile replacing that momentarily scowl. “You and I together will take no prisoners.”
Emma thought for a moment and chose “Picture” made famous by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow.
A few minutes and a healthy tip later, the DJ called them up to the stage out of turn. Tanner wrapped his big hand around hers, engulfing it, and led her to the stage. Emma wasn’t a small woman. She was five-foot-ten in her bare feet, yet Tanner’s large six-foot-four frame made her feel small and delicate.
Picking up their mics, they turned to face each other. Emma heard whispering in the crowd, followed by flashes from phone cameras. From the murmuring across the small group of patrons, Tanner had been outed, and their quiet night together most likely had ended. Those pictures would be all over Twitter and Facebook before they sang the first chorus.
And Emma would be outed, too.
She had no time to think any further because Tanner started singing, and his voice wove magic around the two of them. Emma gazed into his eyes and forgot all about their audience, her sisters, and the possible notoriety she’d unwittingly gained.
Holding his mic in one hand, Tanner grasped Emma’s hand in the other, singing to her as if he meant every word. When Emma’s turn came, she started out shaky but gained her footing and put her all into the song. They harmonized beautifully on the chorus.
As they finished the last line, Tanner leaned into her, his face only inches from hers, and his eyes burning into her very soul. Even when the people scattered at the tables stood as one to give them a standing ovation, Emma didn’t move.
Tanner placed a thumb under her chin and tilted her head up. He kissed her softly, gently, deeply until her world spun around her like a slow merry-go-round. She held onto him as she kissed him back, wishing their kiss would never end, and he’d make all her dreams come true.
Too soon, he drew back and grinned at her. “That was awesome.”
Emma cleared her throat. “It was.” She didn’t know if he’d been referring to the kiss or the duet. They’d both been awesome—beyond awesome—more like epic.
Remembering where she was, she looked around the casino bar and spotted people holding up phones, not only taking pictures, but most likely video. At that moment, reality sacked her for a loss. As soon as her family and their significant others saw the video, she would be in deep, deep trouble.
The weird thing was that she was almost relieved, but she wasn’t so sure Tanner shared her relief.
* * * *
For Tanner, his fans always came first. His former girlfriends had understood that. Now that everyone knew who he was, he couldn’t help himself. He worked the tables in the bar, like a seasoned politician. He wasn’t oblivious to Emma, though. He glanced her way several times as she patiently waited at their table for him. He liked her patience, and he also appreciated the total absence of jealousy in her expression.
She wasn’t his girlfriend. Hell, they weren’t even friends exactly, yet he was anxious to return to their table, to get a feel for what she was thinking about their duet. He’d been mesmerized by her, transported into another world as they’d sang that song together. Even weirder, he’d felt as if they’d been connected in some inexplicable way he’d never experienced before, and damn it, he wanted to feel that connection again.
Had their song affected her as much as it had him?
He felt Emma’s eyes on his back and imagined her sipping on her Pepsi, while he worked his charm on the crowd, shaking hands, making small talk, and signing autographs. He might be a crappy NFL quarterback, but around here he was still king because of his national championship with the hometown college team and a reason why he desperately wanted to stay in Seattle. Any other town would’ve ridden him out on a rail his rookie season but Seattle still loved him. Tanner could think of nothing worse in his life than not being adored. While his brother Isaac didn’t give a shit what people thought of him, Tanner was the exact opposite. He needed the adulation, the attention, and the praise because without it, he might just disappear inside himself and become as worthless and insignificant as his father insisted he was.
Finally Tanner sank his tired ass into the chair next to her. He ordered some nachos and another beer. Leaning his chin on his hands, he studied Emma. Damn, she was gorgeous. Whenever he looked at her, he felt this instant pull of attraction. He’d been attracted to countless women before, but Emma was different. He wanted to talk, hang out with her, know more about her. For him, that was different.
“Do you think we’ll be all over the Internet?” Emma asked, as she shredded a paper coaster.
Tanner was used to being all over the internet, so he hadn’t given it much thought, other than he was behaving for once, which should make team management happy.
“Hope so. It’s been a while since I’ve gone viral, especially when I’m staying out of trouble.”
“Are you usually in trouble?” she asked him, her blue eyes full of concern, which gave him a warm feeling deep in his normally cold, barren gut.
People didn’t care about him. His family sure as hell didn’t. His girlfriends used him to garner attention, just like he used them. His team used him to win games, at which he’d been a colossal failure, winning only six games in his two-year pro career. Sure, the Steelheads had a lousy defense. Sure, he had no offensive line and spent most of his time running for his life. But ultimately, it was all on the quarterback. A good quarterback knew how to win and elevate the play of the team around him. Tanner had done the opposite.
“I am right now.” Tanner dropped his fake smile. Somehow he didn’t believe Emma bought it.
“Why?” She leaned forward, her expression earnest, as if his answer really mattered.
“The new ownership is family-oriented, and I’ve been more of an R-rated quarterback than a G-rated one.” Tanner shook his head as he recalled all of his past stunts, such as swimming naked with one of his celebrity girlfriends in a public fountain or getting into a drunken brawl in a New York bar. Just a few in a long list of infractions Carson most likely had stored on that ever-present iPad of his.
“Carson’s a little rigid, but he’s fair.”
Tanner couldn’t exactly deny that fact. After all, the team still had faith in him when he wasn’t sure he had faith in himself. “I don’t think singing karaoke with a beautiful woman will be an issue. You were fully dressed. It was a decent song. I was behaving.” Okay, except for the kiss, but even the kiss had been G-rated, not a lot of tongue, a gentle touch of the lips between friends.
Right, like he kissed his friends all the time.
Emma looked down, as if she’d read his mind.
“Emma?”
She looked up, her eyes full of worry. “I didn’t want my family to know that I came here.”
Oh, hell. He’d forgotten all about her secret. He was a selfish ass. He hadn’t thought about the repercussions this might cause for her. He’d only thought about himself and looking good to management. But would he? Would Carson be pissed because his bad-boy quarterback was messing with good-girl Emma? Emma lived on their farm and obviously the families were all tied together. Even Tanner was tied to them via his estranged brother and Emma’s sister.
Tanner rubbed a hand over his face. Would they jump to conclusions? Assume he was seducing Emma to get under Isaac’s skin? He’d made no secret of how much he disliked Isaac.
What kind of a mess had he created for Emma with his thoughtless actions and one small kiss?
Lately Tanner couldn’t do anything right, and now he’d caused trouble for the nicest, sweetest woman he knew.
She didn’t deserve that or him.
Yet, he wasn’t sure his guilt would be enough to keep him away. He’d had a taste of her, and now he wanted to feast on the entire banquet.
Resistance wasn’t in his vocabulary when it came to Emma.
Life didn’t get any better than this—or any worse. Emma knew it was only a matter of time before the sisters heard about Tanner and her. Yet, his hand in hers as he walked her to her car in a dark corner of the parking lot made it hard for her to care what her sisters thought.
As if it were the most natural thing in the world, she turned to him as soon as she unlocked the door, tilting her head in invitation. He gazed down into her eyes, his hands on either side of her face. She shivered, even though it was a balmy evening. He did things to her. Not that she was surprised. She’d always thought it would be like this between them.
“I didn’t mean to cause trouble for you tonight,” he said with absolute sincerity, searching her eyes for answers to questions he hadn’t asked. His hands dropped to her shoulders, and he didn’t kiss her. She looked away, attempting to hide her disappointment.
“I’m a big girl, I can handle it.” She faked a smile, pretending everything was fine, but his frown indicated he wasn’t convinced.
Emma’s phone started vibrating, and she glanced down at it.
Way to go, Little Sis! From Bella.
Call me. NOW! From Avery.
We need to talk. From Izzy.
Tanner glanced down at his own phone as it dinged.
“You too?” Emma asked.
Tanner nodded, almost smiling. “I think Izzy wants to castrate me, and I’m pretty sure Ice and Coop will hold me down while she does it, and she’ll use a dull knife.”
“We didn’t do anything. Not really. I mean, not this time.” Emma ducked her head, hating that she blushed whenever she thought of that night two weeks ago.
“Emma,” he said, his voice deep and husky, “it’s not that I don’t want to do something with you because I do.” He gently pushed her against the car, hemming her in with his body as he pressed his erection against her belly.
Emma gasped when he rubbed his stubbled cheek across hers. His mouth found hers, and his intoxicating touch destroyed her restraint more than any alcohol ever had. She clutched his upper arms and kissed him back, doing her best to demonstrate how much he meant to her. He had her heart in his hands and had since she was a naïve seventeen-year-old, fresh from a catastrophic break up which had destroyed her at the time. Now she was letting a man she barely knew do the same thing to her again. Would she ever learn?